Response: Gaines Family and USA Today

An Orem, Utah resident named Darryl (I'm excluding his last name for privacy)was featured in a USA Today opinion piece, where he criticized the HGTV “Fixer Upper” stars, Joanna and Chip Gaines. In his comments, he stated that he thought they were not spending enough time with their children and focusing too much on their work.  Later, Chip responded to this article, emphasizing how important his family is to him, and if his job were in any way negatively influencing that, they would quit immediately.

This struck a chord with me for a few reasons. One, I felt it reflected badly on other Utahns (such as myself) and made it seem that, as a very family oriented state, we are quick to judge others in how they raise their own families. Two, I enjoy the Fixer Upper show for the very reason that Chip and Joanna Gaines are, by all appearances, a good and stable family who have their priorities straight. Thirdly, that people in our society feel that they have the right to criticize parents if they parent differently than themselves, and that it’s acceptable to publicly reprimand them. Finally, the idea that someone cannot be successful in their profession unless they are somehow neglecting their children is highly archaic.  See also: Backwards.

 Let’s not forget that these are real people behind their tv personalities, and making a judgment on someone’s parenting without personally knowing them is one of the harshest statements you can make. A good parent can be profoundly hurt by anyone insinuating that they’re a bad parent in some way. It’s further insulting when, as Darryl suggested, he somehow knows the inner workings of the Gaines family – from watching them on television. I would hope that most people can understand that “reality television” is anything but, and what may appear on screen as two people doing all the backbreaking labor to renovate a home is probably due in great part to a huge team behind them. In other words – it’s highly probable that the Gaines have more time to devote to their children than their tv show makes it appear.

 Beyond the television show, Darryl states that they must be too busy to spend time with their children because they run a ranch, have a real estate business, a restaurant, etc. Again, most “celebrities” have their name used as a marketing point, but are not personally running these ventures themselves. And, as I can attest, having a blog does not take up a great deal of time. Appearances and reality are usually two distinctly different things. He states that the Gaines are doing a disservice to all other families by making it seem like you can have such success and still have time for your family. I don’t believe this is a disservice at all. I think adults are intelligent enough and logical enough to understand what their own personal limitations are, and discern fact from fiction. If not, that’s really a personal problem, isn’t it?

I can’t go into every point that Darryl brings up in his opinion piece, because I don’t want my blog response to be as lengthy as the article. However, to view the entire opinion piece, please follow this link: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/04/27/chip-gaines-joanna-gaines-fixer-upper-family-first-column/554044002/

Why am I defending the Gaines family? Because I think everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, because I have enjoyed watching their show, and because I think it’s not only judgmental but rather callous to make such a serious accusation. As Darryl said that he was a parent himself, I am further flummoxed as to why he would try to degrade another family. I don’t know if he believes himself the crusader of family values or if it’s for a different reason. I’m going to try not to presume. I simply do not know why he feels this way, but I can say, I think the only disservice here is the one Darryl provided to the Gaines family.

Someone’s level of fame should not make it socially acceptable to publicly blast their parenting skills without adequate justification.  There is an important difference between “I personally know the Gaines family and have seen their neglect of their children” and “I have watched the Gaines family on tv and think they must be bad parents.”

First cast out the beam out of thine own eye.

 

 

*Photo Credit to respective owner.