Tuesday, June 18, 2019

My "Literal" Definitions of 2019 Slang




Let me know if I missed any by writing in the comments 😊

Literally: Still being used to describe anything that isn’t literal.

Extra: A contradictory word that calls something or somebody over-the-top, while the use of the word in the first place ends up being extra.

Ignorant: Liberal word for anyone who has a different viewpoint from you.

Snowflake: Republican word for anyone who has a different viewpoint than you.

Spill the tea: An adorably old-fashioned way of telling someone to give you the news or the gossip.

Sus: A word for monks who are only allowed to speak five syllables a year and don’t want to say the full word “suspect”.

Get Educated: A phrase used by people who never finished school, used on PH.D graduates and professionals because they didn’t agree with them on something they read on the internet.

Arrogant: Another word for someone who doesn’t have the same viewpoint as your mom.

Lit: Something exciting or cool, but is definitely not intoxicated, which was the original meaning of the slang word for the past century. See also: A word that already existed but was turned into slang, which became slang that was turned into new slang. Slang slang.

Slang Slang: A word I just made up.

Racial slurs: Evil words used by people who are evidence against the theory of evolution.

Ghosting: When mean people refuse to respond to phone calls and text messages to their last date because they can’t handle confrontation.

Triggered: To explain to people that you can’t handle the realities of life.

All Mood/Big Mood: When people are trying to sound extra so they add additional words to the word “mood” without changing the meaning at all.

Fake News: When Trump supporters don’t like news programs calling out the president for his policies, and when news programs don’t actually report the truth. Also used any time you don’t enjoy what someone says. Like, “It looks like it’s raining outside.” “What? Fake news!”

Femi Nazi: Used to describe pretty much any woman with an opinion.

Feminism: A word that can only be used if you promise to use it incorrectly.

Woke: A word that was once powerful that has now been watered down to drivel.

Thanks Obama: A phrase dating back to when Obama was president and blamed for everything bad that happened to a person throughout their day. Some of us millennials like to use it just to remind ourselves we’re getting old.

Basic: Use this word to insult another person when you want everyone to know how much of a jerk you are without having to show them multiple examples of it.

Shook: Like triggered, but a happy or surprised version.

Girl Boss: When women try to show female empowerment by calling another woman a girl boss, and accidentally end up promoting gender inequality because people don’t say male boss, so why do we need to say girl boss?

Mansplaining: Often misused to describe any man who simply has an opinion about anything. The original definition was used to define a very real problem when men explain things to women that they already know, especially in the workplace. Now used with angry devil emojis to come after anything male.

Anti-vaxxers: Often surrounded by words of befuddlement of why these people still exist in 2019.

Slay: When you want to compliment someone for being strong, so you use a word that means to murder someone.

Keyboard Warriors: Possibly the best slang of the year, it’s used to describe people who fight with everyone on the internet and purposely incite them with controversial opinions, from the safety of their parent’s basement. Statistically proven to be incapable of engaging in confrontation in actual, real-life scenarios.

Keyboard Activists: A slang term I think I just made up to describe someone similar to a keyboard warrior, but is someone who supports every social cause under the sun online. They will come after people with cyber pitchforks, but can never make it to the town council meeting to promote actual change. I am a partial keyboard activist.

Me: Someone who tells it like it is and offends a lot of people.

I literally can’t believe you read this entire post. I’m sure you think I’m basic, but I think this list was pretty lit. Thanks Obama.