A Side of Autoimmune with your Corona

The following post is centered on diabetes and coronavirus. If you’re suffering from either and can’t take the mental trauma right now, please don’t read.  P.S. – I’m considering starting a second blog that either simply looks better than the piece of garbage I have now, or is centered around my chronic illness and my family life, so people know what’s up. Because hey, who doesn’t enjoy serious, soul sucking insight? Am I right?

Right?

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  Bueller? Here we go.

 I know we’re all being bombarded with COVID-19 in our lives, but in this post I want to address the crowd (because you are a crowd, and that’s the problem) who isn’t worried about getting the virus or passing it to others, and has decided not to practice social distancing. Now, I’m not trying to make you care about other people because honestly? That’s just not going to happen.  However, it is evident you care a lot about YOU.

And, because you care so much about you, yourself, and…I? (that didn’t work the way I planned) allow me to give you an important piece of information that could change your nonchalant attitude about your asymptomatic, Typhoid Mary self:

Even if you just get the “sniffles” from the virus, you could still walk away with a permanent AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE.  Welcome to Type 1 diabetes, my friends! (Or lupus, or Sjögren's syndrome, etc.)

Viral infections, even when they aren’t serious, have the rare potential of giving you an autoimmune disease because your body gets confused when fighting a virus and your overzealous cells go rogue and start to attack your body instead. That’s an autoimmune disease – your immune system attacking you, typically a specific organ or type of cell.  You can’t “fix” it, and genetic history doesn’t necessarily matter.  No one in your family has an autoimmune disease? Surprise, you still can.

There’s still a lot of unknowns about coronavirus and which types of viruses trigger autoimmune diseases. Maybe coronavirus can’t trigger this type of response (my belief is that any virus can).  Still, do you really want to take that chance?

I believe this is how I developed diabetes and no, it doesn’t matter how healthy you are or how many reps you do a day, bro. Congrats! 

If you continue being careless and entitled, here are all the things you could be looking forward to the rest of your life, Mr. Florida Spring Breaker:

 --Sticking yourself with needles multiple times a day in various places (fingers, arms, side, back, stomach, hands, butt, anywhere else you can get creative with). Yep, the butt. It’s a grand place to attach an insulin pump.

--Taking medicine forever. Yay.

--Getting some killer bruises, man!

--Waking up in the middle of the night disoriented, confused, shaking, and vomiting

--Being rushed to the hospital for catching the “sniffles” because of how a virus messes with your blood sugars.

--Being at an increased risk for heart attack, neuropathy, blindness, sudden death, skin problems, infections (go figure), a UTI, kidney failure, stroke, high blood pressure, and more wonderful diseases.

--Taking insulin when you eat and when you don’t, then correcting because you didn’t take enough, and finally, correcting your correction because you took too much.

--Leaving important work meetings, family functions, graduations, weddings, funerals, etc. in the most inappropriate moment because your blood sugar suddenly dropped.

--Spending all your paycheck and going into debt just to buy a drug you need to not die

--Counting the carbs in literally every single.thing.you.eat.and.drink.always.

--Getting made fun of by a carbon copy of yourself one year ago. My, how the tables have turned.

Having people accuse you of:

- being a drug user  -  “Gasp, needles!”

- being lazy and fat  - even if you’re skinny

- eating too much sugar - why do people even think this?

- being weak - survival of the fittest , even though there are athletes with diabetes

- being gross  - “Ewww, can you not like, do that here? We’re in a public place.”

-lying - “Type 1 is for kids!” No, and children do grow up. Also, no, it’s not. This isn’t Trix cereal.

-Not trying hard enough - “If you wanted to get rid of your diabetes, you could.” HAHAHAHA. No.

But wait, there’s more!

You’ll also:

- Hear everyone and their dog giving you advice on how you can cure your incurable disease with a fad diet or like, essential oils and stuff.  “Did you know the keto diet can cure you? My grandma drank mushroom water and she doesn’t have diabetes anymore. If you don’t eat meat, your pancreas will come back to life. Stand on your head and hold your breath for ten seconds twice a day for a week. Here’s a magic bean stock. Eat the beans.”

- You don’t understand how annoying this one is. Completely unsolicited advice. You’re never safe from pamphlets, your inbox, a phone call, text messages, in-person meetings, being yelled at from across the hall. They’ll find you, and they’ll tell you their uninformed opinion.

- Be the butt of every outdated, ill-informed, bad joke on the planet.  “Candy Land? More like Diabetes Land!” No. Eating sugar is not how it works. That’s not how ANY OF THIS WORKS, KAREN.

- Get told there will be a cure for diabetes in five years, every year, for the rest of your existence. It’s only been going on since what, 1950?

- Have your “friends” and colleagues actively fight against you in your efforts not to be bankrupt by coming up with ridiculous excuses on behalf of the pharmaceutical companies and why they charge 300% more for insulin than it costs them to make. “Thanks Sally, I’m sure glad I have a friend like you! Wanna have a picnic tomorrow? Oh wait, I’m sorry I can’t. I forgot I GAVE UP EATING BECAUSE I CAN’T PAY FOR MY INSULIN. I subsist on water, air, and dust particles now.”

- Listen to this: “Uhhhhh, are you SURE you should be eating that?” Every time you take a bite of something that isn’t a celery stick.

- Be accused of whining when you could go get “insulin” at Walmart for a couple bucks without insurance. NOOOOOOO. No. No. No. No. No.  I mean, I could also drink Drano, but I DON’T.

- Exist as the occasional doctor’s guinea pig. There are good doctors, and there are bad doctors, just like any other profession in life. Unfortunately, when you have to see doctors as much as you do with a chronic illness, you’re going to be a guinea pig at some point. Buckle up.

Things doctors will misinform you about:

- What type of diabetes you have. If you’re an adult at diagnosis, there’s a good chance they won’t give you the blood test to check for autoantibodies and they’ll say you have Type 2. And if you’re overweight like me? Oh yeah, you don’t stand a chance.  And that’s really, really, really dangerous.  Why? Because Type 2 is not an autoimmune disease, and most don’t need insulin to survive. But as we already established, you sure frickin’ do!

- The different types of diabetes, and how there are more than two. Whaaaat? I’m technically a LADA Type 1.5 (but we say Type 1, because nobody knows what we’re talking about otherwise).  Essentially, it means anyone who gets Type 1 diabetes as an adult instead of when they’re an adolescent. It’s progressive, meaning you don’t always need insulin starting out, but you will eventually progress to it and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Even many nurses will look at you like you’re crazy (you’re a type what, now?). Google it.

- Basic care and how to not accidentally kill yourself. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha………no. I’m serious. They forget to tell you things like what ketones are, and why a high amount of them will kill you. So. Yeah. Cool. Google it.

- Your weight and lifestyle choices, and how it’s your fault that you’re a diabetic even though we’ve already established it’s not. And this is a doctor. A DOCTOR. A DOCTOR! Good grief, for crying out loud. Pro tip: Go to an endocrinologist that specializes in diabetes, not a primary care physician. They’re not all like that, I know, but save yourself the trouble. Type 1 diabetics have to see an endocrinologist anyway.

- How Type 2 diabetics are lucky because they can cure themselves. Whoa. Holy cow, there are doctors going around saying this? You bet. They’re oversimplifying it and telling Type 2’s they can cure themselves with diet and exercise. They don’t think there’s anything inappropriate about using this incorrect terminology. Wrong. You can, if you have enough b cells left to properly coordinate glucose, get off all medication for a while with healthy choices. But you’re still diabetic. Period. In fact, I have my own diabetic joke:

“How can you tell if your doctor is a crackpot? ….They tell you that your diabetes is cured!”

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHA. Good one, crackpot.

Was this an excuse to complain about stupid people? Sure.  Why else do you think I’d be addressing some of the most foolish people on our planet, who are going around blatantly infecting others because they’re selfish and think themselves invincible?

But it’s also true. You CAN get an autoimmune disease like Type 1.5 diabetes from a viral infection. 

So when you walk into a crowded party tonight and ask for some corona, make sure you ask for a side of autoimmune disease to go.

*Photo credit to their creators. Except you, Diabetes Land. You're a jerk.

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